A Decision To Make

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

It's has been quite a long time, since I wrote my last post. Well, as you can guess, it is always 'busy and job' to be blame for. Hehe. And really I hate my job now as it takes away my precious time and push me walking onto a road of 'just go for work for the sake of money'! People says that you have a very secured job and very high paying. Yea..?? What the point of having all those extra-extra-extra money when your life is not yours anymore. You give a lot of your precious time and effort (and youthful thought) for getting so-called extra-extra money, by which your job do not allow you to choose. It is in the other word, you work and work and work! You have no choice, but hey.. you get cash! You save your cash at home, will ya, and you stay here at your workplace to do all theseeee works! What? You want to go back home, ok, but tomorrow you come back here and stay for another 30 hours!
You damned right! I am talking about my job now, and I am really irritated!

Well, that's enough for my lash of anger. Hehe.

Yet.. until this point of time, I have been asking myself..
"Which way to go?"
"What am I going to be later?"
"Am I going to continue with this job till retired?"
"Where am I going?"
"Should I just follow everybody steps, which looked uninteresting and very long way to go for me?"
"Or should I just quit this path and create a new path for my future?"
"Will I be survive without current secured-paying job?"

I don't really know, but I have certain of one sure thing. Day by day, as I still walking in this current path, my hatred toward this job has growing.. and my desire of quitting getting stronger!

I will create my own path of living!!
I will jump into an unknown 'jungle'.
And, I will make my own way..

Once, I have brought up the question to my Facebook friends, and one of their question struck on my mind.
"What is your target?"

Yea, you right. I don't know what is my target. That's why I keep wondering, pondering, frustating.. but still I don't know what to choose. That's why I am still sitting in front of the junction of my life, which decision still yet to make.

And, after some brainwash..
I want my life BACK!
I want to be with my family!
I want to take care of my beloved parents. Sometimes, I cry alone myself of how many times did I hurt my parent's heart. Yet they still treat me well. I knew they were hurted back then, even though now they are showing smiling faces. I knew that as I can feel the hurt myself of what I have done. I am really sorry.. Mak.. Abah! From now on, I won't let you down. I won't let you hurt again because of me. I will take care of both of you, even though I lost everything else. Let alone this job! I won't let this job separate me from both of you. Hope you may find cure for you dishearted feeling to me.

So.. I choose a path that I create myself. I don't follow other people. And, I have made up my mind!

A decision has been made.

Antara Dua Jalan..

Assalamualaikum..

Alhamdulillah. Dah dapat cuti beberapa hari ni, baru lah betul skit tune kepala ni. Kalo tak, asyik berdenyut-denyut je dan rasa terperap dalam dunia kerja hospital yg tak henti-henti. Mana tak nye, onkol selang sehari. Penat otak aku, badan pun dah rasa sakit2. Apa nak buat, itulah pengorbanan kerja doktor ni.

Dalam kesempatan yg ada ni, aku sudah mula memikirkan akan masa depan aku.

"Aku tak boleh terus berada di takuk begini. Aku mesti maju ke depan."
Itulah yg mula bermain di fikiranku, dan hasrat hati yg mahu berubah dan keluar daripada 'belenggu rantai kerja onkol'.. sedikit sebanyak mengubat hati yg sengsara.

So, apakah persimpangan yg sedang aku hadapi?

Antara ..
.. melangkah semula ke menara gading melalui pintu program Master dan meneruskan bakti di kerajaan..
.. atau, berhenti kerja dengan kerajaan dan melangkah ke dunia perniagaan yg mencabar dan memberikan kepuasan dalaman..

So, apa pendapat korang..?

Menurut senior aku, bulan 9 nanti aku dah boleh apply untuk masuk ke program Master anjuran universiti tempatan. Bidang yang aku sasarkan adalah, Pathology. Ini kerana pada ketika ini, bidang Pathology menawarkan tempat kekosongan yang banyak iaitu 50 slot. Dan syarat kemasukan juga tidak ketat, cuma perlu lulus Entrance Exam yang soalannya berdasarkan modul Pathology undergrad. Peluang keemasan ini mungkin tak lama apabila lambakan doktor yang ada ketika ini (iaitu junior2 aku) mula beralih ke bidang2 yang kosong seperti ini.

Aduhh...hai

Aduhai..
Penatnya badan nak onkol..
Letihnya kepala asyik nak fikir..
Geramnya hati asyik terpaksa tahan sabar..
Malasnya nak layan pertanyaan demi pertanyaan,
..yang cuma mahu menunjukkan.. 'Customer always right, and doctor's wrong!'.
Sedihnya hati bila diri dihina..
Kesiannya kat blog aku neh, dah tak menyempat nak update. Dah bersarang dan bersawang dah blog ni.
Aduhai...

Apa nak buat.. teruskan je la perjalanan yang semakin tiba ke penghujungnya ini.
Ya Allah, di mana mahu kucari saki-baki semangat ini....